January: Perfume gets animated. Animators work hard to preserve leg sexiness.
February: Perfume tries to court the child market, to which Kyary replied, “Gurls, get away from my territory.”
March: Perfume bores the world with performances of “Mirai no Museum”.
April: Perfume announces their second world tour. American fans are reminded that America is not the only country in the world.
May: Perfume releases a single in a timely manner, giving them extra time after release to roll around in the piles of money given to them by Kanro and festival organizers.
June: Perfume holds a collaboration tour in order to remind other musical artists that they will never be as famous as Perfume is.
July: Kashiyuka is caught existing in public with a man. Scandal ensues.
August: Perfume gets pissed on for money. Scandal ensues.
September: Perfume releases a song about penis size. Scandal doesn’t ensue due to embarrassment among the offended parties.
October: Perfume releases another platinum certified album, solidifying their status as a flop group.
November: A~Chan reveals that Perfume is actually a gay conversion therapy project. Scandal ensues.
December: Perfume holds their dome tour with a total audience of over 160,000 people, yet again reminding the world that they’re just a group of over-the-hill idols.
